I understand what it’s like to not feel strong. I truly get it. Ever since I lost my son, Braedon, people are constantly telling me how strong I am. Not too long ago I did a post about how I didn’t feel strong and once again I got tons of feedback on how strong I was. The truth is I don’t always feel strong and I need a lot of support. Even with that support I constantly feel like I’m falling apart and like I should be doing more. I’m often paralyzed by a deep fog that has taken my mind prisoner. While Braedon’s absence reminds me daily how fleeting life can be and how important it is to truly live I find myself feeling powerless sometimes; unable to keep up with day to day life, unable to commit to promises I made to myself and unable to navigate my way out of that fog.
My A-Ha Moment at Grief Support Group
Part of the support I need in my life comes from a grief support group that I attend through Camp Kerry. At one of our recent sessions three different ladies (out of only 5) referred to themselves as weak multiple times! Immediately I understood where everyone was coming from and why people were constantly admiring my strength. These ladies have been through devastating losses; their lives shattered, and their families deeply wounded. Where they saw weakness I immediately saw warriors. I saw strong courageous women committed not only to healing and growing themselves but women who were also committed to helping their children heal and grow too. I saw women who no doubt feel broken and lost but still keep going day after day. I saw women who despite everything they are going through they keep doing the work. They keep pushing forward trying to find their way through the fog.
Trying to put the pieces of your family back together is hard work. Feeling your feelings, really truly feeling all the ugly stuff is hard. Trying to find reasons to keep going is hard. Taking steps forward no matter how small is hard especially when you feel lost. Smiling when you feel pain all the way down to the bone is hard. Carrying on with your life is hard. Surviving is hard. Sometimes just breathing is hard. I see you pushing, clawing and crawling your way out. No matter how hard it gets you keep going. I know you do; I do too.
So, to all my Sisters Out There Who Don’t Feel Strong
Maybe you’re struggling with depression or anxiety. Maybe you were abused or are dealing with addiction. Maybe you lost yourself after having kids or maybe like me you’re dealing with incredible soul crushing loss. Whatever it is, I want you to know that you are not weak. Even though you may not always feel it; I want you to know that you are fierce, you are more powerful that you ever imagined and your strength can moves mountains. I am certain of this because I too am fierce and more powerful than I ever imagined and my strength is moving mountains every day.
- You are not WEAK!
- Surviving and healing from trauma and or loss is hard work.
- You are more powerful than you’ve ever imagined.
- You are fierce and STRONG.
- You can move mountains lady!
Please give yourself a little grace ❤
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