Creating Light in Darkness: Gratitude Through Loss

Even Though I’m Living Every Parents Worst Nightmare

Even though I had to live through another holiday without Braedon. Even though I had an amazing weekend with my family but still felt unbelievable lonely. Even though I smiled while quietly aching under the surface. Even though I woke today feeling incredibly empty, I also felt so much gratitude this Thanksgiving. I hope that you too, despite everything you’ve faced or are currently going through. I hope you’re still able to find something to be grateful for and I know if you are reading this right now that you have much to be grateful for.

You see even though I’m living every parents worst nightmare I also recognize that every day I wake up, I have a choice. I have a choice to make about how I will live the rest of my life. I can wake up and waste my life away in the darkness that comes with such a loss; nobody would even blame me and many would even understand. I could focus all my energy on everything that I lost and will continue to lose with each passing day or I can choose differently. 

I Can Choose Differently & so can You!

I can focus on all that I gained by having the divine privilege of being Braedon’s mom. I can focus on all the beauty he brought into my life, to the world and the amazing 18 years we had together. I can share the lessons he taught me with others. I can spread his light and his goodwill. I can dedicate my life to him by living fully and without bounds. 

I can create light in the darkness; even if it’s just a flicker. I can share my shaky voice. I can stand before others in my naked uncomfortable truth and share my pain in hopes to help you heal or maybe I can even help you believe; that we always have a choice. 

That is what I choose. I choose to create light. I don’t choose it because it’s easy; it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and continue to do. I don’t have superhuman strength or magic powers. What I do have is an unwillingness to quit. What I do have is a powerful mindset and resilience that took years to build. What I do have is determination to make my boy, my son Braedon, the proudest angel in heaven. You too have this unbelievable power within, the power of choice.

I Have so Much to be Grateful For

Today, despite the heartache, the loneliness and the tears I have so much gratitude for everyone who has helped and continues to help me pick up the pieces of my broken heart and try to piece it back together. It’s different now I know; it’s my new normal, they say. 

I am so grateful to everyone at the Braedon Foundation; my amazing board of directors, our volunteers, sponsors, our applicants & their families and all of our supporters.

I am grateful to all of you, who follow along, walk beside me and send your love and support. I am grateful for your willingness to come on this journey with me despite the fact that sometimes you inevitably feel some of my pain and cry real tears; I thank you with all sincerity. 

I am thankful to those of you who continue to help me honor Braedon with my life by living fully, realizing dreams and working towards more of them. 

Pouring myself into this and working to do good in this world in Braedon’s memory means everything to me and I couldn’t have done it without each and everyone of you.. Thank you for giving me purpose, helping me find a reason to survive and helping me create light in the darkness; even if it’s just a flicker. You can create light too; it’s your choice to make.

What Are You Grateful For?

I’d love to know what you are grateful for. Share with me! Tag Tiffany Agnew Inspires on Facebook and tell me something you are grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

XO ❤ Tiffany

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