Sometimes in life we are faced with things we think we have no control over and sometimes in life we are faced with things that we actually have absolutely no control over. For me losing Braedon was one of those things. I prayed, I asked others to pray and I pleaded with God for a miracle. Even after losing him I begged God every night to wake me from the nightmare that become my life. Maybe it was all just a bad dream. I tried to convince myself but it wasn’t and we didn’t get the miracle that we had our hearts set on. I wasn’t given a choice; I had absolutely no control.
Everyday since then I’ve had to learn how to live in this world without Braedon. I will have to keep learning this lesson and over and over again as I wake to face each day knowing I can never wrap my arms around him. Knowing I have to face everyday without ever being able to tell him I love him, without every being able to hear his laugh or see his beautiful smile. It’s like not being able to catch your breath and feeling an emptiness and loneliness that never leaves and seeps all the way into your bones.
Despite the vastness of the whole in my heart. Despite how broken and how desperate I feel. Despite the grief, the pain, the desperation. I have control over how I respond. I’ll never be able to put the pieces back together they way they were before. A part of me will always be missing but I still have control over how this will shape me, how I will honor Braedon and what I will do next.
I choose to pick myself up again and again like Braedon did many times before. I choose to keep picking up the pieces of my heart despite how shattered it may be. Through my brokenness I will summon the strength and the will to let Braedon’s light shine through me. I will work tirelessly to keep his memory alive and share him with the world by helping others in his memory. Through tears and heartache, I will continue pursue my wildest dreams and work to become the greatest version of me and I will keep striving to inspire and empower others to do the same.
I will do my part and serve my community. I will grow, I will take chances and I will leap far beyond my comfort zone. I will show up broken, desperate and with a part of me missing. I will do this for Braedon. I will do this for you too; to remind you that there is power in choice and most of the time we have that choice. It may be difficult beyond words but it’s still up to us to choose.
I challenge you to own your power, take command of the narrative and recognize when you have control. Tell me, how will you own your power?
How you can own your power?
- Ask for help when you need it. This can be hard for many of us. Myself included. I’ve had to ask for help several times and it has crucial for me to get where I am. I had to ask my doctor for help and start taking medication for depression. I’ve had to see a counsellor to help me sort through my grief, depression and in the early days of loss PTSD. I’ve had to call friends sometimes in tears and say I just need someone to talk to; I need your help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Adopt and Inner Coach Mentality. Think of how you’d coach your best friend or maybe even your kids and talk to & encourage yourself the same way. Often our internal dialogue can be harsh. That inner mean girl, she’s a bully. Adopt and inner coach mentality and quite her.
- Practice Self-Care. Are you taking care of yourself? It’s a lot easier to feel and act powerful and take ownership to how you respond to set backs, tragedies and the ups and downs that life inevitably brings upon us if you are taking care of yourself. Move your body daily, take quite time, journal, practice gratitude, hit up a yoga class or take an art class. Regularly do things to refresh, re-energize and renew your mind, body and spirit.
- Feel the fear & keep going anyways. I started embracing fear and getting comfortable taking steps outside my comfort zone a couple of years ago and it has led to some pretty amazing things. Fear isn’t always a sign that we shouldn’t do something. I use to be terrified of public speaking and now well I still get scared but I’m also really passionate about it. I was so afraid of failure the fear actually left my paralyzed, frozen and unable to act on things I really wanted. Once I learned that I could feel afraid and keep going, feel afraid and do it anyways, feel afraid and act, be and do things I use to only dream of I awakened a part of my that had been dormant my whole life. Embracing your fear will invigorate you. It will awaken things inside you and give you so much courage. Every time you face your fear & step out of your comfort zone you will grow and become more powerful.
- Hang around with like-minded people. Surround yourself with the kind of people you want to become. Want to level up in your work, life or other area of your life? Hang around with others who are doing just that. I want to grow a successful speaking career and a business around it with live events and inspirational products. I have tons of friends who are growing businesses, committing to massive goals and it inspires me and invigorates me to push hard and commit to my big dreams. Don’t currently have anyone in your network? Look for events, reach out to people online!